Attack of the Burma Shavers
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Liam Wescott- 11:19 am PST - Oct 21, 2000
Gore won the popular vote; Bush won the unpopular vote
Just to lighten things up a bit:A few years back, myself and a friend were helping out on a political campaign. One day we got bored and started coming up with Burma-Shave type verses about our candidate and her opponent. For those either too young to remember or who have forgotten, the Burma Shave company used to put up little signs along the highway that extolled their product. There are lots of websites out there to give you an idea of what they were all about.
So I've come up with a few of my own about this campaign:
She thought that Nader
Was really swell.
Bush won the vote.
Now she's in hell.
Busha Shave.
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Liam
Wescott - 11:25 am PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #2
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
Why vote for the Shrub
Since we fired his Daddy?
If Shrub's dad couldn't cut it
Then don't hire the Laddy!
Integrity and honesty ought to be
In the character of those we elect
But to quote that comedian Rodney
Shrub gives us no respect!
George Jr. uses the "A" word,
Mark Fuhrman prefers the "N"
On a scale of moral leadership?
They both rate Minus Ten!
Repost these as you like, bring them to your local Dem HQ, just be sure to give me credit as well as my friend Neal Matson for his contributions. I can come up with more, I'm sure, and I am quite certain that the very creative people on this discussion forum can add their $0.02 as well.
Liam
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SheRa-
11:32 am PST - Oct 21, 2000 - #3
of 247
Don't hurt my boy His Mommy cries Afraid he'll be hit When Al Gore sighs.
But Georgie lives in a house of glass cause he's perfectly
happy to call another a Major League Ass
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Captain
Billy - 11:57 am PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #4
of 247
"I may have left the White House,
but I’m still here!" ? WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON, The last person to be
elected President of the US.
Bush and Gore give us lies and stuff, Nader's the one
who is tuff enuff.....
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Davis
X. Machina - 12:04 pm
PST - Oct 21, 2000 - #5
of 247
Sen. Gene McCarthy on moderate
Republicans, "They’re the ones who when seeing a man drowning fifteen feet
off shore will toss him a ten foot rope, and say that they have gone more
than half way."
Bush is Dumb?
It Doesn't Matter
My Bottom Line
Is Growing Fatter
Burma Shave
My favorite Vietnam-era jingle illustrates the fact that in Nam there were no RE's for REMF's to inhabit...
Don't Bunch Up
As You Stroll About
Or You'll Be Picking
The Fragments Out
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Jerome
Wilkes - 12:06 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #6
of 247
A Scholar Gypsy
The day's at hand,
When Bush must plop
Back to Austin
To rot in slop.
Let Mama shout and rave
About Son Dubya's real cute ways.
Perhaps she cannot see
His mind's perennial daze.
A mother ever loves a lout,
She cradled him in days of yore.
But now she cannot understand
Why compare he can't with Albert Gore.
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Davis
X. Machina - 12:11 pm
PST - Oct 21, 2000 - #7
of 247
Sen. Gene McCarthy on moderate
Republicans, "They’re the ones who when seeing a man drowning fifteen feet
off shore will toss him a ten foot rope, and say that they have gone more
than half way."
I have no clue
I have no shame
I haven't much
But my daddy's name.
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Maria
S. - 12:19 pm PST -
Oct 21, 2000 - #8
of 247
I'm sorry, but I'm going to
be a bickerer....Alcee Hastings
i'm just like you
have a plan
thunk it up
while on the can
you shouldn't trust
the government
especially if
i'm president
now i think
i'll take a nap
or read a book
on mommy's lap
Burma Shave
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Davis
X. Machina - 12:23 pm
PST - Oct 21, 2000 - #9
of 247
Sen. Gene McCarthy on moderate
Republicans, "They’re the ones who when seeing a man drowning fifteen feet
off shore will toss him a ten foot rope, and say that they have gone more
than half way."
Type the letters br between angle brackets <> at the
end of each line...
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Ferguson
Foont - 12:29 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #10
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
George W. Bush
Gets an erection.
When thinking of
Lethal injection.
Busha Shave
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Maria
S. - 12:32 pm PST -
Oct 21, 2000 - #11
of 247
I'm sorry, but I'm going to
be a bickerer....Alcee Hastings
Thanks Davis X. I'll try to edit my verse now.
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Davis
X. Machina - 12:33 pm
PST - Oct 21, 2000 - #12
of 247
Sen. Gene McCarthy on moderate
Republicans, "They’re the ones who when seeing a man drowning fifteen feet
off shore will toss him a ten foot rope, and say that they have gone more
than half way."
Shoudn't we be "Myanmar Shavers"?
(Sorry. It's the schoolteacher in me...)
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Liam
Wescott - 12:35 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #13
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
Ferguson Foont 10/21/00 12:29pm
Good one, FF, good one.
LMAO!!!
Liam
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Ferguson
Foont - 12:38 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #14
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
In the debates
Bush sniffs and fidgets
'Cause his IQ's
In single digits.
Busha Shave
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A.
Herbst - 12:41 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #15
of 247
They made a desert and called
it victory.
When things get tough, I take a lam
When money can be had, I work a scam
But trust me now
Cause I got this here plan
Burma Shave
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Ferguson
Foont - 12:41 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #16
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
George Bush asks, "Is
"Our children learning?"
But when he thinks
You smell circuits burning.
Busha Shave
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Ferguson
Foont - 12:43 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #17
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
George has a plan
For all this crap,
But first he has
To take a nap.
Busha Shave
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Liam
Wescott - 12:45 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #18
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
George says he trusts you
But you know that he's lyin'
You don't matter one bit to him
Because it's your ass he'll be fryin'
Burma Shave
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Maria
S. - 12:50 pm PST -
Oct 21, 2000 - #19
of 247
I'm sorry, but I'm going to
be a bickerer....Alcee Hastings
Beloved by Cokie
Bernie and Schneider
Cause he's a uniter
Not a divider
Burma Shave
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Liam
Wescott - 12:57 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #20
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
Shrub says he trusts us!
But we know he's a liar
It's not us he trusts
It is the Vote Buyer!
Burma Shave
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Liam
Wescott - 01:02 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #21
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
When voting this November
Do not forget what he said
"Honor and Intergrity, I promise!
A pledge he'll leave dead!
Burma Shave
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dsduryea-
01:11 pm PST - Oct 21, 2000 - #22
of 247
I never realized there was such
a large Jews for Buchanan Bund in Palm Beach.
The media is bought and sold
No one will get hurt
If you do as told
Busha Slave
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Ellen
McLean - 01:11 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #23
of 247
A vote stolen from one of us
is stolen from all of us.
Texas has a governor
Who naps most every day
He took the surplus we once had
And pissed it all away.
Burma Shave
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Liam
Wescott - 01:53 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #24
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
Shrub's got a brain
Or so some have said
But when I hear him talk
I think he's full of lead!
Burma Shave
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Ferguson
Foont - 01:56 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #25
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
George Bush, he believes,
'Cause he learned it by rote,
That it isn't "One man..."
It's "One dollar, one vote."
Busha Shave
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Davis
X. Machina - 02:01 pm
PST - Oct 21, 2000 - #26
of 247
Sen. Gene McCarthy on moderate
Republicans, "They’re the ones who when seeing a man drowning fifteen feet
off shore will toss him a ten foot rope, and say that they have gone more
than half way."
The air in Houston
Is thick as soup
Was Our Boy Georgie
In the loop?
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Ferguson
Foont - 02:10 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #27
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
Drill ever for oil.
That's what Bush bin pushin'.
He'll turn our great land
Into one big pincushion.
Busha Shave
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Maria
S. - 02:18 pm PST -
Oct 21, 2000 - #28
of 247
I'm sorry, but I'm going to
be a bickerer....Alcee Hastings
It's okay to bumble
As long as you're humble
Just shuffle your feet
And try to look sweet
If you make a mistake
Folks will give you a break
Everything will be cool
As long as you don't drool
Debate Prep Burma Shave
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A.
Herbst - 03:08 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #29
of 247
They made a desert and called
it victory.
You all should do limericks next.
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Kim
sayers - 03:14 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #30
of 247
He's not MY president.
There once was a dummy from Texas
Who promised to lower the taxes
But he doesn't care
'Less you're a millionaire
And if you are not you get axes.
Uh
Burma Shave
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Liam
Wescott - 03:20 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #31
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
"Compassionate Conservative"
Or so we have been told
But when I look in his heart
I see a stone, very cold!
Burma Shave
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Kim
sayers - 03:28 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #32
of 247
He's not MY president.
We looked at his heart
And saw Karla Faye
We looked at his head
Where hypocrisy lay
We looked at his nose
His "fun hatch" they say
We looked at the ballot
And voted "No Way"!
Burma Shave
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MECowan-
10:18 pm PST - Oct 21, 2000 - #33
of 247
Republican's Syndrome: A neurological
disorder characterized by spontaneous, uncontrollable outbursts of mind-boggling
hypocrisy
The pundits watch
Poll numbers rise.
Election Day
--Surprise, surprise!
Burma Shave
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Ferguson
Foont - 10:32 pm PST
- Oct 21, 2000 - #34
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
George Dubya turned
White as a ghost
When he picked up
Busha Shave
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Liam
Wescott - 12:23 am PST
- Oct 22, 2000 - #35
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
Shrub for Prez?
Surely you jest!
He's not our man
He's like all the rest!
Burma Shave
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Ferguson
Foont - 11:40 am PST
- Oct 22, 2000 - #36
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
Bush for prez?
You bite your tongue!
The man's as dumb
As turkey dung.
Busha Shave
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Liam
Wescott - 03:27 pm PST
- Oct 22, 2000 - #37
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
Vote your head, not your heart
When it comes to Mr. Nader
Cuz when push comes to shove
He's Ralphie "See-You-Later"
Burma Shave
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spiff-
03:41 pm PST - Oct 22, 2000 - #38
of 247
Those uninformed say Gore's smart
but his Graduate scores weren't worth a fart.
While Bush FINISHED Harvard with an MBA
Gore was blowing it in a big way
He FAILED out of Divinity School and Vanderbilt Law
In sum, his 'Intellectual' House is made of straw.
Bubba Shave
Stick that in your crack pipes and smoke it you freakin'
Gore-ons!
No More Gore! No More Gore! No More Gore!
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spiff-
03:58 pm PST - Oct 22, 2000 - #39
of 247
Lie after lie
and one lie more,
he can't help it
he's Al Gore.
Bubba Shave
No More Gore!! No More Gore!! No More Gore!!
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Douglas
Wiken - 04:34 pm PST
- Oct 22, 2000 - #40
of 247
Republican "Virtue" follows
money--no matter how it was stolen.
Yesterday's lies
Support today's lies
Foundations for tomorrow's lies
The best lies Bush money buys.
Dubbya Shave.
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spiff-
06:26 pm PST - Oct 22, 2000 - #41
of 247
Gore! Gore!
He's our man!
If he can't socialize us...
No one can!
Bubba Shave
Bubba = Bill Clinton, Al Gore's impeached lying, raping,
treasonous mentor.
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Ferguson
Foont - 06:26 pm PST
- Oct 22, 2000 - #42
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
The Freepers rave,
"Al Gore's a liar!"
Then why have THEIR pants
Caught on fire?
Busha Shave
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MECowan-
07:10 pm PST - Oct 22, 2000 - #43
of 247
Republican's Syndrome: A neurological
disorder characterized by spontaneous, uncontrollable outbursts of mind-boggling
hypocrisy
Larry Flynt
Has spoken truth
Recall it in
The voting booth.
Burma Shave
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Gar
Lipow - 07:25 pm PST
- Oct 22, 2000 - #44
of 247
"Believe nothing until it is
officially denied" Claude Cockburn
Gore (the stick), and Bush (the shrub) Long ago both popped the drug. Now both, without hesitation or fail, Send those who do the same to jail. So without a rant or rave, Methinks this leads to NADER SHAVE.(BOOKMARK)
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spiff-
09:16 pm PST - Oct 22, 2000 - #45
of 247
If they had shame
The Dems would die
'cuz on Flynt's shit
their last hopes lie.
Bubba Shave
I'm sitting here, laughing in derision, that the Gore-ons
are actually hoping a child molesting (he molested his own daughter), misogynist,
crotch-obsessed slug like Flynt can be the key to the election of their
candidate. How could it be more obvious that you freakin' Democrat retards
are on the wrong side of this contest!?
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Douglas
Wiken - 09:37 pm PST
- Oct 22, 2000 - #46
of 247
Republican "Virtue" follows
money--no matter how it was stolen.
David Schipper
did one for the Gipper
but he had a wife too
for that he is dog doo.
dubbya shave
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Liam
Wescott - 11:16 pm PST
- Oct 22, 2000 - #47
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
Al Gore went to 'Nam
Shrub stayed right here
Al did his duty
Shrub's not so clear!
Dubya Shave
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Ellen
McLean - 12:50 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #48
of 247
A vote stolen from one of us
is stolen from all of us.
Shrub does lots of fuzzy math
Social Security takes a bath,
Billionaires will get their trillion,
While Texas Justice keeps on killin'.
Burma Shave
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Phoenix
Woman - 08:03 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #49
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
Greens think 5% will get
Lots of money in their kit.
But Matching Funds will go
to Nader only, not Greens, no.
Burma Shave!
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Phoenix
Woman - 08:05 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #50
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
How can you
Green Parties Build
When the money goes
in NADER's till?
Burma-Shave
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Douglas
Wiken - 08:06 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #51
of 247
Republican "Virtue" follows
money--no matter how it was stolen.
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Nancy
Richardson - 08:12 am
PST - Oct 23, 2000 - #52
of 247
A man without as much mental
agility as a lump of lead or a block of wood,a man whose utter stupidity
is only paralleled by his immorality,can have lots of people at his beck
& call,just because he happens to possess a large pile of gold.T.MoreUtopia
HE DOESN'T DIVIDE
OR READ A GRAPH...
HE'S HOOKED ON PHONICS
AND FUZZY MATH....
Berma Shave
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Ferguson
Foont - 08:21 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #53
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
"Flynt molests children,"
The Freepers sing.
They'd best take care...
That's Dubya's thing.
Busha Shave
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Phoenix
Woman - 08:24 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #54
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
Hey, it even scans! Good on you, Fergy!
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Nancy
Richardson - 08:25 am
PST - Oct 23, 2000 - #55
of 247
A man without as much mental
agility as a lump of lead or a block of wood,a man whose utter stupidity
is only paralleled by his immorality,can have lots of people at his beck
& call,just because he happens to possess a large pile of gold.T.MoreUtopia
ABORTION ILLEGAL...
EXCEPT FOR THE RICH...
LOOK AT THE RECORD...
FACTS ARE A BITCH.
BURMA SHAVE
(BOOKMARK)
Phoenix
Woman - 08:26 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #56
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
Being from Minnesota (home of Burma-Shave), I feel I must try to acquit myself well in this rhyming contest.
Here goes another one:
Run on my record?
Can't do that.
If I did, you'd pick
The Democrat.
Burma-Shave
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Nancy
Richardson - 08:27 am
PST - Oct 23, 2000 - #57
of 247
A man without as much mental
agility as a lump of lead or a block of wood,a man whose utter stupidity
is only paralleled by his immorality,can have lots of people at his beck
& call,just because he happens to possess a large pile of gold.T.MoreUtopia
SOCCER MOMS
VOTERS WHO SWING
KEEP CHANGING THEIR MINDS
ITS THE LATEST THING.
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Phoenix
Woman - 08:28 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #58
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
Here's an authentic Burma-Shave jingle, by the way:
Round the curve
Lickety-split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it
Burma-Shave
(From The Verse by the Side of the Road, a collection
of all the Burma-Shave slogans.)
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Nancy
Richardson - 08:29 am
PST - Oct 23, 2000 - #59
of 247
A man without as much mental
agility as a lump of lead or a block of wood,a man whose utter stupidity
is only paralleled by his immorality,can have lots of people at his beck
& call,just because he happens to possess a large pile of gold.T.MoreUtopia
HE'S A LEADER
HE SAYS HE'LL UNITE
HE DOESN'T DIVIDE...
My ass you can bite.
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Phoenix
Woman - 08:34 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #60
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
This isn't an 'official' Burma-Shave site, but it'll do for now:
<http://www.fiftiesweb.com/burma.htm>
Every so often the Odells would get a little frisky with their sloganeering, which led to unexpected results.
For instance, far too many people actually responded to the gag slogan
FREE OFFER! FREE OFFER!
RIP A FENDER
OFF YOUR CAR
SEND IT IN FOR
A HALF-POUND JAR
Burma-Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Phoenix
Woman - 08:36 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #61
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
And let's not even go into what happened when a Wisconsin Red Owl grocery store owner decided to take up the Odells on this proposal:
FREE! FREE!
A TRIP
TO MARS
FOR 900
EMPTY JARS
Burma-Shave
(BOOKMARK)
Ferguson
Foont - 08:38 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #62
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
"Real Plans for Real People."
This is his "idea."
But to me it just sounds like
Bush brain diarrhea.
Busha Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Phoenix
Woman - 08:39 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #63
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
All right! The definitive Burma-Shave book is out in paperback!
The
Verse by the Side of the Road
(BOOKMARK)
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spiff-
10:02 am PST - Oct 23, 2000 - #64
of 247
Gore went to 'Nam
to see the sights
and his babysitters kept him
out of all firefights
The son of the Senator
from Tennesee
Was a REMF 'journalist'
don't you see...
But to gain
a poll point or two
he came up with another whopper
just for guys like you.
He said once in 'Nam
he came under fire -
then later had to retract
proving he's a liar.
So when someone tells you
that Gore is a vet -
Just remember that it's one of
his biggest lies yet.
Bubba Shave.
If the pic doesn't work, see it at http://www.geocities.com/stankulp/AlGore.gif.
Any vet who sees this pic will immediately understand Gore for the moron
he is.
Also...
Al Gore in Vietnam AL GORE IN VIET NAM Having posted a little tickler in last week's Digest about Al Gore's 141 days in Vietnam," The Federalist Editorial Board was inundated with inquiries from Vietnam vets. Most went something like this: "Gore claimed in his convention speech: 'I enlisted in the Army because I knew if I didn't go, someone else in the small town of Carthage, Tennessee would have to go in my place.' Since he wasn't KIA or wounded, how was it that his Army tour was far shorter than all the rest of us?" Our astute veteran readers took the bait! Gore's campaign launched a multimillion-dollar ad campaign this week to tell his "life story." The ads will include references to his service" in Vietnam-however brief. Gore spent less than five months of a typical twelve-month tour in Vietnam. He spent every minute of his "tour" as a "rear-echelon...." (call any combat veteran and they can complete that phrase for you). He was classified as a military journalist after telling recruiters he was a newspaper trainee" (read "copy boy") for the New York Times while a student at Harvard. He was assigned as a noncombatant "information specialist" to the Army's 20th Engineers Brigade headquarters at Bien Hoa military base near Saigon. Gore's immediate supervisor in Vietnam has confirmed that his posting there came with explicit instructions to baby-sit him and make sure he was never in any danger. That fact notwithstanding, Gore has claimed to the Washington Post that he was "shot at" and "spent most of my time in the field." He later told the Baltimore Sun that "[I] pulled my turn on the perimeter at night and walked through the elephant grass and I was fired upon." He has since backed off these exaggerated claims. On May 22, 1971, not five months into his "tour of duty," Gore was given special dispensation and a one-way ticket home to attend divinity school in Nashville. He dropped out of Vanderbilt shortly thereafter. As for the seven months cut from Gore's tour of duty in Vietnam, we suppose "someone else in the small town of Carthage, Tennessee" had to finish his tour "in his place."
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Ferguson
Foont - 10:15 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #65
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
The Governor's Dad
Got him in the Guard
But even that
Proved much to hard.
Busha Shave
(BOOKMARK)
spiff- 11:09 am PST - Oct 23, 2000 - #66 of 247
Gore's 141 REMF days
doesn't even compare
to the 5 years Bush
served in the Air.
Bush trained on and flew
F102 Fighter Jets
and, about his service,
Bush has no regrets.
Gore, on the other hand
because of weakness, mental
could only qualify
to pilot a pencil.
The document is on Air Force letterhead, dated 7 October 1968. ''The Secretary of the Air Force has directed me to inform you that, by direction of the President, you are tendered an indefinite term appointment as a Reserve officer of the Air Force.''He trained until June 1970, then assumed reserve status in the Texas Air National Guard, flying F-102 fighters out of Ellington Air Force Base. George W. Bush was 23, a first lieutenant.
George W. Bush requested a discharge from the Texas Air National Guard on 5 Sept. 73 after serving for 3 years. After being granted an Honorable Discharge, he went to Harvard and completed a Masters in Business Administration.
Gore, on the other hand, served only 141 days and was able, as a Senator's Son, to get released from duty to attend and flunk Divinity school.
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D
H100 - 11:16 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #67
of 247
"Even if [Nader] did lie about
it, so fucking what." - Formerly 'pure', and now thoroughly corrupt Naderites
on TT (actual quote)
Legend has it that the person in question was sent to
Mars... Italy.
(BOOKMARK)
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Ferguson
Foont - 11:52 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #68
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
Had you, like Bush,
Not shown for duty
They'd up and jailed
Your sweet patootie.
Busha Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Ferguson
Foont - 11:58 am PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #69
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
In 'Nam, Gore served
With honor and pride
While George Bush found
Someplace to hide.
Busha Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Ann
EO - 04:06 pm PST -
Oct 23, 2000 - #70
of 247
I"The Washington Monument appeared
ghostly through the gloom" 1/20/01 WP D. Milbank__ L-OATH-E of Officee
bump
(BOOKMARK)
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Ann
EO - 04:15 pm PST -
Oct 23, 2000 - #71
of 247
I"The Washington Monument appeared
ghostly through the gloom" 1/20/01 WP D. Milbank__ L-OATH-E of Officee
By presidential order he'd decree
Democracy not to be
In our national interest
No more Bushes
(BOOKMARK)
Ann
EO - 04:20 pm PST -
Oct 23, 2000 - #72
of 247
I"The Washington Monument appeared
ghostly through the gloom" 1/20/01 WP D. Milbank__ L-OATH-E of Officee
The man who would be president...Bush
Religious Right buddies and NRA pals
Would rule the day
But you'd rue the day
Greenie bushes
(BOOKMARK)
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Douglas
Wiken - 07:57 pm PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #73
of 247
Republican "Virtue" follows
money--no matter how it was stolen.
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MECowan-
08:01 pm PST - Oct 23, 2000 - #74
of 247
Republican's Syndrome: A neurological
disorder characterized by spontaneous, uncontrollable outbursts of mind-boggling
hypocrisy
Al Gore may bulge,
Al Gore may sigh.
He'll still be Prez
'Cause he's our guy!
Burma Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Douglas
Wiken - 08:01 pm PST
- Oct 23, 2000 - #75
of 247
Republican "Virtue" follows
money--no matter how it was stolen.
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Ferguson
Foont - 10:50 am PST
- Oct 24, 2000 - #76
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
If we listen
To pundits
On CNN
We won't have
A pot to be
Peein' in.
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Douglas
Wiken - 10:56 am PST
- Oct 24, 2000 - #77
of 247
Republican "Virtue" follows
money--no matter how it was stolen.
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Douglas
Wiken - 11:00 am PST
- Oct 24, 2000 - #78
of 247
Republican "Virtue" follows
money--no matter how it was stolen.
Kim
sayers - 11:12 am PST
- Oct 24, 2000 - #79
of 247
He's not MY president.
The Yellow Bush from Texas
(To the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas)
There's a Yellow Bush from Texas
That I am gonna see
He'll babble like a moron
Right there on my TeeVee.
He'd drop his bombs on Yemen
To avenge our boat
No matter if they done it
Don't give this guy your vote.
He'll give big bucks to rich guys
The hell with all the rest
On everything that matters
He fails to pass the test.
(BOOKMARK)
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Phoenix
Woman - 11:42 am PST
- Oct 24, 2000 - #80
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
DH 100, the town was actually Moers, Germany. It was the best the Odells could do, in the pre-NASA era. (This was back when the NYT still hadn't retracted its dissing of Robert Goddard's 'impossible' claim that rockets could operate in a vaccum. Oh, yes, they can, as was demonstrated in the late 1950s.)
Invest in Gore
And you will earn
On your ballot vote
A fine return.
PhoenixShave
(BOOKMARK)
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Ellen
McLean - 10:51 am PST
- Oct 25, 2000 - #81
of 247
A vote stolen from one of us
is stolen from all of us.
Texas kids go up with TASS
Nationally they loose their ass
Bush learns his policy by rote
Never thinks, just gives a quote.
BurmaShave
(BOOKMARK)
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Phoenix
Woman - 11:13 am PST
- Oct 25, 2000 - #82
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
'Teach to the test'!
That's what
Bush said
That's no way
To get ahead
Busha-Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Ferguson
Foont - 11:20 am PST
- Oct 25, 2000 - #83
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
Bush thinks he's got
"Miracle Schools."
If you believe that,
Rand says you're fools.
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Pete
Hisey - 11:27 am PST
- Oct 25, 2000 - #84
of 247
The liberty of a democracy is
not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point
where it becomes stronger than their democratic state itself. That, in
its essence, is fascism--ownership of the government by (a private power).
FDR
Some drive cars
Some drive trucks
George W. Bush
Is a stupid fuck
Five-nine is your height
One-sixty your weight
You cash in your chips
On November 8
(BOOKMARK)
Pete
Hisey - 11:50 am PST
- Oct 25, 2000 - #85
of 247
The liberty of a democracy is
not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point
where it becomes stronger than their democratic state itself. That, in
its essence, is fascism--ownership of the government by (a private power).
FDR
He's not much
At elocution
But boy is he good
At execution
DumbyaShave!
(BOOKMARK)
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MECowan-
11:50 am PST - Oct 25, 2000 - #86
of 247
Republican's Syndrome: A neurological
disorder characterized by spontaneous, uncontrollable outbursts of mind-boggling
hypocrisy
Gore can't lose,
Bush can't win.
November 7
Our guy's in.
(BOOKMARK)
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Pete
Hisey - 12:26 pm PST
- Oct 25, 2000 - #87
of 247
The liberty of a democracy is
not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point
where it becomes stronger than their democratic state itself. That, in
its essence, is fascism--ownership of the government by (a private power).
FDR
Roses are red
Violets are blue
George W. Bush
Is dumber than you.
He'll fall off the wagon
When he finds he can't win out
Some teenage girl will be gaggin'
While he does the old in-out.
Smirkya Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Aisling
Donnal - 01:22 pm PST
- Oct 25, 2000 - #88
of 247
GWB: Memo to self: Award Presidential
Medal of Freedom to Ralph Nader
To execute
guys from the hood
gets me off
gives me wood
bushshave
(BOOKMARK)
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Ferguson
Foont - 05:02 pm PST
- Oct 25, 2000 - #89
of 247
Republicans whine and Republicans
bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich!"
Folks in Texas would have
A real cause
To rejoice
If all of
Life's questions
Were multiple choice.
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Phoenix
Woman - 08:56 am PST
- Oct 26, 2000 - #90
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
Free! Free!
A Texas trip
For the
King of
Nasal drip
SnortaShave
(BOOKMARK)
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Douglas
Wiken - 09:39 am PST
- Oct 26, 2000 - #91
of 247
Republican "Virtue" follows
money--no matter how it was stolen.
Davis
X. Machina - 11:35 am
PST - Oct 26, 2000 - #92
of 247
Sen. Gene McCarthy on moderate
Republicans, "They’re the ones who when seeing a man drowning fifteen feet
off shore will toss him a ten foot rope, and say that they have gone more
than half way."
He had a chance
to ice this race
but now the egg
is on Shrub's face
Burma Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Purcell
Edgar - 05:30 pm PST
- Oct 28, 2000 - #93
of 247
I know what the word "media"
means. It's plural for "mediocre." -- Rocky Bridges
While the candidates
continue to stump
I believe this thread
is due for a "bump."
--Burma Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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MECowan-
05:34 pm PST - Oct 28, 2000 - #94
of 247
Republican's Syndrome: A neurological
disorder characterized by spontaneous, uncontrollable outbursts of mind-boggling
hypocrisy
Cheney's business
Made big bucks
From slave labor.
That news sucks.
Myanmar Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Liam
Wescott - 05:44 am PST
- Oct 29, 2000 - #95
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
Not exactly a Burma Shave, but it fits ...
To the tune of TLC's song, "No Scrubs"
No Shrub
The Shrub is a guy who thinks he’s smart
But I know he’s a total dumb-dumb
Always talkin’ like he don’t think at all
And I know that he’s just a dumbass!
So (no)
I don’t want your nonsense (no)
I ain’t gonna vote for you (no)
I don’t need you in DC (no)
I want you outta my sight (no)
Chorus:
I don’t want no Shrub
The Shrub is a guy that I won’t support
Hanging out with his Poppy’s friends
Who tell him what to say
Trying to play his games on me
I don’t want no Shrub
The Shrub is a guy that I won’t support
Hanging out with his Poppy’s friends
Who always tell him what to say
Trying to play his games on me
But the Shrub is going down
And his mind is really weak
And I know that he cannot have me
Cuz I’m better than that and he’s looking like toast
Can’t vote for no idiot like that
So (no)
I don’t want your nonsense (no)
I ain’t gonna vote for you (no)
I don’t need you in DC (no)
I want you outta my sight (no)
You’re so dumb that you can’t talk
Oh yes Shrub, I’m talking to you
Without your Poppy by your side
Oh yes Shrub I’m talking to you
You totally suck up to your Poppy
Oh yes Shrub, I’m talking to you
And you’re such a Momma’s boy
No Shrub!
Chorus 3x
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 03:45 pm PST
- Nov 7, 2000 - #96
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
I love that!
(BOOKMARK)
C.B.
Hagman - 03:53 pm PST
- Nov 7, 2000 - #97
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Young George is so saintly
And committed no crimes.
At least that's what I read
In the Washington Times.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 10:27 am PST
- Nov 8, 2000 - #98
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Ralph claims to be
A flippin' saint
But a look at his deeds
Reveals he ain't.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Mike
Corrigan - 05:47 pm
PST - Nov 9, 2000 - #99
of 247
Bush family barbecue: gang-dang
Checked My Ballot
Got Confused
Better Bust Out
My Funeral Shoes
Burma Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Shaheen-
07:00 am PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #100
of 247
www.thehungersite.com Donate
food to the hungry with a simple mouseclick.
The votes were bad
It's in the news
Now I've got
The election blues
(BOOKMARK)
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AndreaCG-
07:02 am PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #101
of 247
Somewhere, Joseph Heller is
shaking his head sadly.
Collective nightmare
Memories calm
Enshrine the madness
In County Palm
Burma Shave
(Never again)
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 07:06 am PST
- Nov 10, 2000 - #102
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
We went to vote
But got befuddled.
Don't blame us if
The country's muddled.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Nancy
Richardson - 07:09 am
PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #103
of 247
A man without as much mental
agility as a lump of lead or a block of wood,a man whose utter stupidity
is only paralleled by his immorality,can have lots of people at his beck
& call,just because he happens to possess a large pile of gold.T.MoreUtopia
I got vote...
I got to choose.
My guy won...
and we all lose.
(BOOKMARK)
Nancy
Richardson - 07:10 am
PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #104
of 247
A man without as much mental
agility as a lump of lead or a block of wood,a man whose utter stupidity
is only paralleled by his immorality,can have lots of people at his beck
& call,just because he happens to possess a large pile of gold.T.MoreUtopia
It only hurts
when you think
surrender to Bush.
ignore the stink.
(BOOKMARK)
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Shaheen-
07:11 am PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #105
of 247
www.thehungersite.com Donate
food to the hungry with a simple mouseclick.
On the news
Was Robert Dole
Saying Bush won
He's lost his soul
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 07:52 am PST
- Nov 10, 2000 - #106
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
<Off topic>
Nancy, your quote from Utopia is devastatingly appropriate for this election season. Okay, it's appropriate for any season in this country. The Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Back to the Burma Shave signs!
(BOOKMARK)
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Shaheen-
08:25 am PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #107
of 247
www.thehungersite.com Donate
food to the hungry with a simple mouseclick.
Once upon a time
An election was stolen
Repugs say they're not guilty
But they did the crime
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 08:29 am PST
- Nov 10, 2000 - #108
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
The people spoke
And the people voted.
And the following day
The country exploded!
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Red
Wood - 09:19 am PST
- Nov 10, 2000 - #109
of 247
'Publicrats
Demmicans
Such a bore
Vote
Harry Browne
in 2004
LibertyShave!
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 09:31 am
PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #110
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Roses are red
Tantrums are Schrubby
I'd rather be dead
Than vote for a 'Pubby.
(BOOKMARK)
MECowan-
09:32 am PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #111
of 247
Republican's Syndrome: A neurological
disorder characterized by spontaneous, uncontrollable outbursts of mind-boggling
hypocrisy
Election fraud
Beyond belief
Can't accept
Commander-in-Thief
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 12:53 pm PST
- Nov 10, 2000 - #112
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
LOL, MEC!
(BOOKMARK)
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Lynda-
01:45 pm PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #113
of 247
LYNDA
I am a new subscriber to Table Talk. Here is my Burma Shave poem:
Good ol' Al dropped Bill C. Then "W" and Poppy trimmed
Al's tree-- Now Poppy says, "Son, take the helm-- And give ol' Bill a smack
for me!
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 01:50 pm PST
- Nov 10, 2000 - #114
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Ol' Barbara Bush
Is known for pearls.
Her offspring, though,
Are nutty as squirrels.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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G
Steller - 03:26 pm PST
- Nov 10, 2000 - #115
of 247
That's MRS. Bitch, to you.
I'm new to D.C. Just have a seat, You'll soon be feeling
lots of heat. . . . .I've brought my switch, I've brought my chair, And
an overabundance of very hot air. . . . Burn-a Slave!
(BOOKMARK)
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Mike
Corrigan - 04:29 pm
PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #116
of 247
Bush family barbecue: gang-dang
Voters missed.
Ballot twist.
Voters pissed.
Upraised fist...
...Recount this!
Close Shave
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Mike
Corrigan - 04:45 pm
PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #117
of 247
Bush family barbecue: gang-dang
Hey, I been elected,
Now whaddya say?
Got my Cab'net selected,
Get outta my way!
Bumma Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Mike
Corrigan - 04:49 pm
PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #118
of 247
Bush family barbecue: gang-dang
It takes Real Texans
To steal elections.
(BOOKMARK)
Mike
Corrigan - 04:54 pm
PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #119
of 247
Bush family barbecue: gang-dang
The Dems' Al Gore
Campaigns No More.
G. Dubya Bush...
Beer Hall Putsch?
Germa Nyshave
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Mark
D McGothigan - 05:00
pm PST - Nov 10, 2000 - #120
of 247
The Presidential Hillbillies
Come listen to the story of a guv named Jeb
A poor politician - helped his brother get ahead.
Every day George sez: I'm just another dude,
But up from the ground came a bubblin crude.
Oil that is, Black gold, Texas Tea.
Well of course you know old Jeb's a millionaire
His kinfolk said: Jeb get the vote out here.
They said Florida's the place you oughta be,
So they left Kennebunkport and moved to Tallahassee.
Butterfly ballots that is, missing boxes, police cars.
Young George moved in the W House and drank
He signed all new laws in the lobbies of the bank,
Lotsa folks objected, but the pres'dent found no fault,
'Cause Bush's campaign billions was a-layin' in the vault
Cash, that is! Capital gains, privatized SS money!
Well now it's time to say goodbye to Jeb and all his kin
Al would like to thank you folks fer droppin' yer votes in.
You're all invited back to vote for this plutocracy,
T'have a heapin' helpin' of their hypocrisy.
Integrity, that is! Fry an inmate, Take your shoes off!
Y'all come back, here!
The Presidential Hillbillies: George W(easel) as Jethro
Uncle Jeb as himself Neil as Mr. Drysdale Fannie Mae as Ellie Mae Barbara
as Grannie Rerun guest star George Sr.
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Leo
Carr - 06:51 pm PST
- Nov 10, 2000 - #121
of 247
OBSERVATIONS OF A "LURKER"
"Liam Wescott " Sorry am not creative enough to contribute
but this thread is great comic relief, thanks one and all.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 02:48 am
PST - Nov 11, 2000 - #122
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Well, it's not Burma Shave either but I just thought of this little ditty from a Mitch Miller album -- ages ago . For the "pathetic" elders in Florida...
"Be kind to your web-footed friends
For a duck may be somebody's mother.
Be kind to your friends in the swamp,
Where the weather is very very Dahmp.
Now you may think that this is the end;
Well it is."
(Sung to the tune of "Star Spangled Banner").
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MECowan-
07:08 am PST - Nov 11, 2000 - #123
of 247
Republican's Syndrome: A neurological
disorder characterized by spontaneous, uncontrollable outbursts of mind-boggling
hypocrisy
Caitlin, I remember my dad singing that to me when I was too little to realize it was a joke. Thanks!
The tune, however, isn't "The Star Spangled Banner." It's
a Sousa march, "The Stars and Stripes Forever." (I think; I had to look
up a list of Sousa marches to jog the ol' memory.)
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Red
Wood - 07:12 am PST
- Nov 11, 2000 - #124
of 247
We know
The Winners!
Here they are:
Cartoonists
Columnists
Big Media
MoreNewstoshave!
(BOOKMARK)
Nancy
Richardson - 07:14 am
PST - Nov 11, 2000 - #125
of 247
A man without as much mental
agility as a lump of lead or a block of wood,a man whose utter stupidity
is only paralleled by his immorality,can have lots of people at his beck
& call,just because he happens to possess a large pile of gold.T.MoreUtopia
Caitland---
Stars and Stripes forever...as per...Sing Along With Mitch
(Miller) the man who stopped Columbia Records from signing on to Rock N
Roll.
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Tina
Kramer - 09:42 am PST
- Nov 11, 2000 - #126
of 247
Put Marvin Miller in the Baseball
Hall of Fame.
Ironically enough though, Mitch Miller was a staunch Democrat.
In fact, I think he was a Clinton supporter.
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Red
Wood - 09:47 am PST
- Nov 11, 2000 - #127
of 247
The People's Will
Is none too plain
Let's hope
It's clear
By next campaign
Futureshave!
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Caitlin
Griswold - 01:16 pm
PST - Nov 11, 2000 - #128
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Ouch! Thanks Nancy and ME, of course you are right. It is "the Stars and Stripes Forever". (Luckily, I don't vote the kind of hours I usually post...)
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eve
worth- 04:26 pm PST
- Nov 11, 2000 - #129
of 247
be present not tense
The people's will
is plain as day
Bushies go home
is what we say...
(frothyshave)
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Mike
Corrigan - 05:01 pm
PST - Nov 11, 2000 - #130
of 247
Bush family barbecue: gang-dang
The margin now is four
Down in New Mexico;
But who're th' electors for?
Contel, Texaco...
Big Burma Business Shave
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Tina
Kramer - 05:11 pm PST
- Nov 11, 2000 - #131
of 247
Put Marvin Miller in the Baseball
Hall of Fame.
That Gore has won
I have no doubt
But patience, all
For truth will out.
(BOOKMARK)
Ellen Hampton - 12:28 am PST - Nov 12, 2000 - #132 of 247
A diversion from burma shave to limerick:
An absentee voter from Florida
Is starting to get even worrieder
To count or not count
To vote or not vote
It should have been pretty straightforwarder.
Through chaos a solution is clear
While change is a sacrifice dear
Cancel the college
Remove it from knowledge
And elections will warrant a cheer.
(BOOKMARK)
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Shaheen-
08:18 am PST - Nov 12, 2000 - #133
of 247
www.thehungersite.com Donate
food to the hungry with a simple mouseclick.
"Viagra Bob" Dole
Looking like a cadaver
Was on "This Week"
Spouting Bush's palaver
DuhhbyaShave!
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Caitlin
Griswold - 12:03 pm
PST - Nov 12, 2000 - #134
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Okay,this one is to "The Whiffenpoof Song" (for sure):
I'm a poor little chad that went astray
Baa, baaa, baa
Failed to dislodge Election Day
Baa, baa, baaa
Elderly voter, so out to lunch
Landed me here -- with a "pregnant" punch --
Now I am in the uncounted bunch
Baa, baaa, baa.
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MECowan-
12:35 pm PST - Nov 12, 2000 - #135
of 247
Republican's Syndrome: A neurological
disorder characterized by spontaneous, uncontrollable outbursts of mind-boggling
hypocrisy
Caitline, that's HILARIOUS!!!!
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R.
Kell - 09:12 pm PST
- Nov 12, 2000 - #136
of 247
Republicans have starting believing their hype, Nixon, honorable? Who could believe such tripe? Self-delusion and low IQ's are always their way, Making it rain on everyone's sun-shiny day. They're making a list of who's naughty and nice, Don't rock the boat else they'll check your name twice. If lying doesn't win, they'll find a way, To hide their hypocracy every day. When election day comes, a button I'll push, But never a Republican, or even a Bush.
DUBYeehashave (good to his mother and hand picked by God)
Shrub.
(BOOKMARK)
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Fnord-
09:38 am PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #137
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
Gore's got his knickers twisted
He's whining like a kid
Called on Daley to fix the vote
Just like HIS daddy did.
Gorey Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
C.B.
Hagman - 10:37 am PST
- Nov 13, 2000 - #138
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Caitlin and Mark, your take-offs on, respectively, "The
Whiffenpoof Song" and "The Ballad of Jed Clampett" (or whatever the theme
from The Beverly Hillbillies is called) are side-splitting. You
can take on the Capitol Steps and Mark Russell any day (and I love the
CS and MR).
(BOOKMARK)
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Phoenix
Woman - 10:42 am PST
- Nov 13, 2000 - #139
of 247
"Incredibly, Mr. Nader has said
that, if forced to choose, he would vote for Mr. Bush -- presumably as
more likely to cause a backlash in the environment's favor." RFK Jr., environmental
activist, 08/10/00 NYT
Steal Flor. for Shrub?
Jeb says
"No prob!
That'll be Xavier
Suarez' job!"
ThiefaShave
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C.B.
Hagman - 10:54 am PST
- Nov 13, 2000 - #140
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
The major networks all
Have egg on their faces.
Who botched Florida's vote?
Hey! Let's blame Marisleysis.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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D
H100 - 10:57 am PST
- Nov 13, 2000 - #141
of 247
"Even if [Nader] did lie about
it, so fucking what." - Formerly 'pure', and now thoroughly corrupt Naderites
on TT (actual quote)
Reproductive rights decided
by leering right wing harpies
When in this quandry
be sure to tell Ralphie
Ratfuck-ya Shave
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Fnord-
10:59 am PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #142
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
Gore was the heir-apparent
He thought that he was due it
His Florida voters, we now know,
Were dumb enough to screw it.
Gorey Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Fnord-
12:17 pm PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #143
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
Algore felt entitled
The job was his by right
But the Dauphin's vic'try march
Was spoiled on Tuesday night.
Gorey Shave
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Fnord-
01:13 pm PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #144
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
Algore is the Veep now,
The Prez, he wants to be it
But the U.S. voters say
"Al, we'll not let you see it."
Gorey Shave
(BOOKMARK)
D
H100 - 01:16 pm PST
- Nov 13, 2000 - #145
of 247
"Even if [Nader] did lie about
it, so fucking what." - Formerly 'pure', and now thoroughly corrupt Naderites
on TT (actual quote)
The GOP'ers shiver
Scared to count
But demand the throne
As theirs to mount
Wingnut Shave
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D
H100 - 01:19 pm PST
- Nov 13, 2000 - #146
of 247
"Even if [Nader] did lie about
it, so fucking what." - Formerly 'pure', and now thoroughly corrupt Naderites
on TT (actual quote)
Shrub was promised
He'd be prez
When asked why
He stammered, 'Daddy said!!!'
Shrubby Shave
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Fnord-
01:32 pm PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #147
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
The presidential election
Hung by a suspender.
If Algore takes the throne,
He'll be, "Al the Pretender."
Gorey Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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D
H100 - 01:33 pm PST
- Nov 13, 2000 - #148
of 247
"Even if [Nader] did lie about
it, so fucking what." - Formerly 'pure', and now thoroughly corrupt Naderites
on TT (actual quote)
The popular vote
He's already lost
Florida he'll fudge
To get in at any cost
Fnordy Shave
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Fnord-
01:35 pm PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #149
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
When Al was a new daddy,
He was the children's burper
But if he gets inaugurated
He'll be "Al the Usurper."
Gorey Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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D
H100 - 01:38 pm PST
- Nov 13, 2000 - #150
of 247
"Even if [Nader] did lie about
it, so fucking what." - Formerly 'pure', and now thoroughly corrupt Naderites
on TT (actual quote)
Although he's lost the popular
With the electorial Shrub still jiggers
That if Al takes FL he just WINS
Some people are too addled to figure
Fnordy Shave
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Fnord-
01:56 pm PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #151
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
hee hee
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(Deleted message originally posted by Caitlin Griswold on 03:53 pm
PST - Nov 13, 2000)
Mike
Corrigan - 07:28 pm
PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #153
of 247
Bush family barbecue: gang-dang
Gore, Bush... Bush, Gore:
Each makes an awkward cutup —
What are elections for,
If neither side will shut up?
(BOOKMARK)
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Fnord-
08:04 pm PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #154
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
This is fun. Here's another.
The election's not quite over
The difference is a hair
But Al should have no worries
Vote-fixer Daley's there.
Gorey Shave
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Fnord-
08:06 pm PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #155
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
One more....
Bill's still in the White House
Not thinking like a slob
In his mind, the gears still turn,
"How can I keep my job?"
Bubba Shave
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Fnord-
08:11 pm PST - Nov 13, 2000 - #156
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
The season is upon us
Algore will be all merry
Boss Daley will provide the votes
From the cemetery.
Daley Shave
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Fnord-
08:54 am PST - Nov 14, 2000 - #157
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
George Bush is down in Austin
His fingers are all crossed
He can't control Boss Daley's moves
To have his votes all tossed.
Daley Shave
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C.B.
Hagman - 09:15 am PST
- Nov 14, 2000 - #158
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
GOP will probably run the show.
"Not our fault," the Naderites yelp.
Head Start scuttled, OSHA hogtied.
Ralphie, thank you for your "help."
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Fnord-
11:05 am PST - Nov 14, 2000 - #159
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
Not too shabby there, C.B.
(BOOKMARK)
Catherine
Danielson - 02:37 pm
PST - Nov 14, 2000 - #160
of 247
To see the shocking evidence
of vote fraud in Tennessee...http://www.nashvilleinsanity.com.
Bull Connor doesn't Look so bad He didn't have a Sleazy dad He said he was racist So he never lied And he had no DUI's.
Burmashave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Fnord-
02:42 pm PST - Nov 14, 2000 - #161
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
Hmmmm, no.
Try again.
(BOOKMARK)
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Dan
Sikorski - 03:28 pm
PST - Nov 14, 2000 - #162
of 247
We get the government we deserve.
Whether this is good or bad remains to be seen.
'Twixt fibs of Gore
and smirks of Bush
Their parties can
Just kiss my tush
Fed-up Shave
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Fnord-
03:37 pm PST - Nov 14, 2000 - #163
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
I like it!
(BOOKMARK)
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Dan
Sikorski - 05:54 pm
PST - Nov 14, 2000 - #164
of 247
We get the government we deserve.
Whether this is good or bad remains to be seen.
Oh, don't encourage me, Fnord. I just might keep coming up with these things. :)
"My vote don't count"
One used to hear
I bet you won't
After this year.
Ballot Shave
I don't know why
They want this job
Considering
The Congress mob
Gridlock Shave
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Fnord-
08:56 pm PST - Nov 14, 2000 - #165
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
The season's long
The days are short
Will our next Prez
Be picked in court?
Legal Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Fnord-
09:11 am PST - Nov 15, 2000 - #166
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
The count is in
But Gore's not won
It's time for
Another one
Gorey Shave
(BOOKMARK)
Caitlin
Griswold - 09:16 am
PST - Nov 15, 2000 - #167
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
A Smirk in waiting
to beginnit
begrudges every
bloody minute.
Burma Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Fnord-
09:24 am PST - Nov 15, 2000 - #168
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
pretty good.
Daley is his daddy's child
He knows just how to do it
If the count won't go your way
Just add some dead guys to it
Daley Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 10:48 am PST
- Nov 15, 2000 - #169
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Fnord, your tendency to pass judgment on the posters here
is every bit as annoying as a cell phone at the theater.
(BOOKMARK)
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juliajenniegillespie-
10:57 am PST - Nov 15, 2000 - #170
of 247
"I was not elected", Prez Shrub
/ ChoicePoint = electronic JimCrow
Something eerie on this thread a-reaking
can hardly keep my soul from "eek-ing"
of posts from one called Fnordy Fudge
has crowned herself the Burm/Shave Judge!
(gee, kinda reminds me of King George - Burmashave!)
(BOOKMARK)
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Fnord-
11:10 am PST - Nov 15, 2000 - #171
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
I call 'em like I see (read) them. Others are free to add their two bits. No self-appointer arbiter, me. But I know what I like. (And, in the final analysis, aren't all opinions ultimately the opinion holder's passing of judgment on whatever the subject is?)
The karma's getting think
The hides are getting thin
Some people can't abide the fact
That Algore may not win.
Gorey Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Catherine
Danielson - 11:31 am
PST - Nov 15, 2000 - #172
of 247
To see the shocking evidence
of vote fraud in Tennessee...http://www.nashvilleinsanity.com.
Voter fraud did happen
In Nashville, Tennessee
"You won't get away with it"
Sez NAACP.
I should know, too, since I met with them yesterday, and
lemme tell you... Republicans should pray for a hand recount. If Bush gets
in he WILL be impeached and thrown out. The evidence of racist voter fraud
from TENNESSEE ALONE would be enough.
(BOOKMARK)
C.B.
Hagman - 03:10 pm PST
- Nov 15, 2000 - #173
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
"Stop them before
they count votes again!"
Said all daddy's minions
And the Austin dauphin.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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juliajenniegillespie-
03:14 pm PST - Nov 15, 2000 - #174
of 247
"I was not elected", Prez Shrub
/ ChoicePoint = electronic JimCrow
Voter fraud did happen In Nashville, Tennessee "You won't get away with it" Sez NAACP.Yay, Catherine!!! Thank you!
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juliajenniegillespie-
03:16 pm PST - Nov 15, 2000 - #175
of 247
"I was not elected", Prez Shrub
/ ChoicePoint = electronic JimCrow
Some people can't abide the fact That Algore may not win.ooooooooo, Fnordy, hit a nerve, did I? Good.
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JohnFFF-
05:36 pm PST - Nov 15, 2000 - #176
of 247
"His sexual fantasy is to have
some" - Johnny Carson
Gore found out on Election night
Whoever said "life's unfair" was right
Now we're stuck with that smirking monkey
I feel skunky
Appeals almost exhausted, the deadline's at hand
Gore will have to wait to make another stand
Meanwhile the victor crows "That's President Chimp to you!"
...well, poo
Bush squeaks in
By the closest of calls
Now I'll have to move to Canada
And prob'ly freeze my balls
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C.B.
Hagman - 01:18 pm PST
- Nov 17, 2000 - #177
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
The resolution is coming
And we feel sick in our vitals.
And Bush ex-Cabinet officials
Wave around their ex-titles.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 10:47 am
PST - Nov 18, 2000 - #178
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Kasparov lost
To IBM
Has nothing on
Those Luddite Dems.
Burma shave.
(BOOKMARK)
Caitlin
Griswold - 10:49 am
PST - Nov 18, 2000 - #179
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"We're moving up!
We've picked the drapes!
That other side
Is just sour grapes."
Burma shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 12:04 pm
PST - Nov 18, 2000 - #180
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
What futile endeavor
To troll for truth
Where Ponce de Leon
Mislaid his youth
Didn'tshave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 12:17 pm
PST - Nov 18, 2000 - #181
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"Military votes!
We're in tomorrow
Wading ashore
Like Don Pizarro."
Didn't shave either.
(BOOKMARK)
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Zee
Miller - 07:25 pm PST
- Nov 20, 2000 - #182
of 247
Katherine Harris
revives a fashion trend:
makes a Spotty coat
from man's best friend.
BowWow Shave
Zee
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 07:18 am PST
- Nov 21, 2000 - #183
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Cruella DeVille!
Cruella DeVille!
If she doesn't scare you
No evil thing will!
Oops! I thought this was the Mickey Mouse Club Karaoke
Thread. Sorry.
(BOOKMARK)
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D
H100 - 07:41 am PST
- Nov 21, 2000 - #184
of 247
"Even if [Nader] did lie about
it, so fucking what." - Formerly 'pure', and now thoroughly corrupt Naderites
on TT (actual quote)
Great tagline, BTW... and quite appropos.
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 07:44 am PST
- Nov 21, 2000 - #185
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Thank you. I like your tagline, too.
(BOOKMARK)
D
H100 - 07:47 am PST
- Nov 21, 2000 - #186
of 247
"Even if [Nader] did lie about
it, so fucking what." - Formerly 'pure', and now thoroughly corrupt Naderites
on TT (actual quote)
Yeah, but I didn't come up with mine... Rick Robinson
did.
(BOOKMARK)
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Dean
Falcione - 08:52 pm
PST - Nov 21, 2000 - #187
of 247
Al Gore - The People's President
The man the GOP hates,
when there's no one else to call..
Mr. Boies took down Bill Gates
and he'll take down Dubya, y'all
Burma Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 01:47 pm PST
- Nov 22, 2000 - #188
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Is Cheney's ticker
Starting to tock?
Bush says things are just grand
But let's ask the doc.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 04:21 pm
PST - Nov 22, 2000 - #189
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
To whine and smirk
Till blood congeals
a process known as
"Bush appeals."
Bummer shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Fnord-
04:33 pm PST - Nov 22, 2000 - #190
of 247
Fee Simple Absolut -- The vodka
for Swedish property owners
The court is there
Like Gore's big brother
To ensure his win
One way or t'other.
Kaiser Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 06:13 pm
PST - Nov 22, 2000 - #191
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
With Florida's water
The effect varies
A tainted court
Pure secretaries.
Bummer shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Liam
Wescott - 06:19 pm PST
- Nov 22, 2000 - #192
of 247
Gore won the popular vote; Bush
won the unpopular vote
Floridians voted,
Shrub didn't care.
His brother fixed it,
Shrub's full of air!
Bummer Shave!
(BOOKMARK)
Caitlin
Griswold - 07:40 pm
PST - Nov 22, 2000 - #193
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Dimples, alert:
Chads in a row!
Don't risk being tossed
For one no-show.
Binary shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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(Deleted message originally posted by Zee Miller on 07:47 pm PST -
Nov 22, 2000)
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Zee
Miller - 07:50 pm PST
- Nov 22, 2000 - #195
of 247
W is for Win at all costs
He said trust the people!
Give the states power!
Behind machines and federal courts
he now has to cower.
Wimpy Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Clifton
McCarthy - 03:48 am
PST - Nov 23, 2000 - #196
of 247
Dade Absentee ballot count shows
monkeys at the Miami Zoo voted for George "the Chimp" Bush. Miami Zoo used
as absentee ballot address on bogus ballots.
spiff - 03:41 pm PST - Oct 22, 2000 - #38 of 195
Those uninformed say Gore's smart
but his Graduate scores weren't worth a fart.
Gore graduated
with all Honors bright
But Bush's lies
spewed day and night
Gore never flunked
Divinity school
Just found his sermons
Caused sleep as a rule
An honor student
was Al Gore
Passed his test
and what is more
Harvards test
The Bar in Boston
while Bush made rounds
of Bars in Austin.
(BOOKMARK)
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Tina
Kramer - 07:26 am PST
- Nov 23, 2000 - #197
of 247
Put Marvin Miller in the Baseball
Hall of Fame.
Clifton, Gore did not pass the bar in Boston. He quit law school. He did not go to Harvard Law School; he went to Vanderbilt Law (the Divinity school he attended was also at Vanderbilt). He did graduate with honors from Harvard University.
Quit lying please.
(BOOKMARK)
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Clifton
McCarthy - 07:31 am
PST - Nov 23, 2000 - #198
of 247
Dade Absentee ballot count shows
monkeys at the Miami Zoo voted for George "the Chimp" Bush. Miami Zoo used
as absentee ballot address on bogus ballots.
Look at Biography show on A&E channel look at the Gore biography and you will find out, though you may not know it, you are the one, Tina dear, spreading lies.
Gore roommate at Harvard Was Tommy Lee Jones
Bush has spread this lie throughout the election
and now the lie on Burma Shave signs. He did pass the Bar in Boston after
graduating from Harvard law school.
(BOOKMARK)
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Zee
Miller - 07:31 am PST
- Nov 23, 2000 - #199
of 247
Tina's Truths
come just in time
but next go round
make them rhyme
Burma Thread
(BOOKMARK)
Clifton
McCarthy - 07:35 am
PST - Nov 23, 2000 - #200
of 247
Dade Absentee ballot count shows
monkeys at the Miami Zoo voted for George "the Chimp" Bush. Miami Zoo used
as absentee ballot address on bogus ballots.
Tina lies and
doesn't know it
Zee chips in
To try and blow it.
But the truth
is on the web
The first liars
Name is Jeb
(BOOKMARK)
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Zee
Miller - 07:47 am PST
- Nov 23, 2000 - #201
of 247
Rocky Road
There are degrees of truth
but facts are few:
We can all agree
who went to Whattsamatta U!
Burma Push come to Shove
(BOOKMARK)
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Tina
Kramer - 07:47 am PST
- Nov 23, 2000 - #202
of 247
Put Marvin Miller in the Baseball
Hall of Fame.
I've read the Gore biography
His roommate was Jones, Tommy Lee
At Harvard University
Not the law school, check again and see.
Gore
biography from A&E
(BOOKMARK)
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Clifton
McCarthy - 08:01 am
PST - Nov 23, 2000 - #203
of 247
Dade Absentee ballot count shows
monkeys at the Miami Zoo voted for George "the Chimp" Bush. Miami Zoo used
as absentee ballot address on bogus ballots.
I bless those
who do correct me
It was not Law
But Goverment
A major(pun intended) mistake
Which I repent
That's what I saw
from what you sent.
But you will see that Gore did shine
With honors, Harvard
'69
(BOOKMARK)
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Tina
Kramer - 10:09 am PST
- Nov 23, 2000 - #204
of 247
Put Marvin Miller in the Baseball
Hall of Fame.
Yes, he did.
There is no doubt.
And the important thing is
Both you and I want to keep Bush out!
Happy Thanskgiving, Clifton. Even though I holler at you
a lot, we're on the same side!
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 11:05 am
PST - Nov 23, 2000 - #205
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"We like it rusty...
Not NO crown,
Damn it, Al, put
The Brillo down."
Bummer shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 03:00 pm
PST - Nov 23, 2000 - #206
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"We claim this land...
Miami Dade!" --
Whooops, other card --
"The Everglaaaaaaaa..."
Bummer shave
(BOOKMARK)
Ann
EO - 03:26 pm PST -
Nov 23, 2000 - #207
of 247
I"The Washington Monument appeared
ghostly through the gloom" 1/20/01 WP D. Milbank__ L-OATH-E of Officee
The court is there like Bushies little brother
Toensure his theft
For Kaiser Brains Bereft
Skull and Bones taken to the grave
Ballot shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Ann
EO - 03:34 pm PST -
Nov 23, 2000 - #208
of 247
I"The Washington Monument appeared
ghostly through the gloom" 1/20/01 WP D. Milbank__ L-OATH-E of Officee
To quick to call a liar
When hearing from an ally
Lay back, tary and tally
We crush the same demon of
The Truth...Wave
(BOOKMARK)
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Leo
Carr - 03:54 pm PST
- Nov 23, 2000 - #209
of 247
OBSERVATIONS OF A "LURKER"
Now this gentleman is an undiscovered genius.
"Clifton McCarthy - 07:49 am PST - Nov 23, 2000 - #22 of 30
Dade Absentee ballot count shows monkeys at the Miami Zoo voted for George "the Chimp" Bush. Miami Zoo used as absentee ballot address on bogus ballots.
Leo? Scrollin' Scrollin' Scrollin'
Though the thread is swollen
With the freeper trollin'
Keep that mouse wheel rollin'
Rawhide. "
(BOOKMARK)
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Clifton
McCarthy - 04:14 pm
PST - Nov 23, 2000 - #210
of 247
Dade Absentee ballot count shows
monkeys at the Miami Zoo voted for George "the Chimp" Bush. Miami Zoo used
as absentee ballot address on bogus ballots.
I did not write Rawhide
Who did is on the genius side
He kept the dogies rollin'
Salon keeps the poster's scrollin"
I bless those that correct me
Tina Kramer does respect me
I tis a fool forsooth
That will curse the gift of truth
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 10:56 am PST
- Nov 24, 2000 - #211
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
The TT crowd
Can hold conversation
In Burma Shavese.
Man! This is a great nation.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 12:00 pm
PST - Nov 24, 2000 - #212
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Still warming up
A little flat;
Sings "Me - me - me -"
But she ain't so fat.
Brava shave
(BOOKMARK)
Zee Miller - 12:23 pm PST - Nov 25, 2000 - #213 of 247
(Good one, Caitlin!)
Bail-Boards
He put a bandaid
on his pimple,
To fix a Gore
is not so simple.
Two votes in the Bush
are worth one command
from the Supreme Court
to our Dizzy-land.
Let Poetic Justice
set the eximple
can't smile, by George!,
without a dimple.
Zee
(BOOKMARK)
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Mike
Corrigan - 02:53 pm
PST - Nov 27, 2000 - #214
of 247
Bush family barbecue: gang-dang
(Uncertain Certification)
Kathleen Harris made
The Dems so mad — oh,
Such a close shave
From 5 o'clock chad-o!
Burma Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Dan
Sikorski - 03:20 pm
PST - Nov 30, 2000 - #215
of 247
We get the government we deserve.
Whether this is good or bad remains to be seen.
Dubya Bush won?
He don't doubt it
If he's so sure
Why not count it?
Fairness Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 04:58 am
PST - Dec 3, 2000 - #216
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"Sit on my lap, dear,
Closure nears..."
"But Grandma, your teeth are
Something fierce."
Red-Riding Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 05:00 am
PST - Dec 3, 2000 - #217
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"We counted twice.
They don't agree.
Hey, when do I get
My math degree?"
Bummer shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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ed
scarbrough - 05:39 am
PST - Dec 3, 2000 - #218
of 247
His Fraudulencey recapitulates
the Plutocracy
Boil Boy
And Cardiac Kid
We know no joy
When we watch the vid.
Bushie Knave
(BOOKMARK)
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C.
A. Fox - 01:37 am PST
- Dec 7, 2000 - #219
of 247
John Ashcroft + Wesson oil =
self-basting turkey / Ever notice how much George W. Bush resembles Alfred
E. Newman?
We got a Shrub And I'm so livid Got my rhetorical bushwacker Got me some trimmin'.
Shrubya Shave
(BOOKMARK)
C.
A. Fox - 01:40 am PST
- Dec 7, 2000 - #220
of 247
John Ashcroft + Wesson oil =
self-basting turkey / Ever notice how much George W. Bush resembles Alfred
E. Newman?
Shrub thinks he's so hot;
That's one of my fears -
Last time we followed a burning Bush,
We were in the desert 40 years.
Shrubya Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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C.
A. Fox - 01:42 am PST
- Dec 7, 2000 - #221
of 247
John Ashcroft + Wesson oil =
self-basting turkey / Ever notice how much George W. Bush resembles Alfred
E. Newman?
"How much trouble can a Shrub be?"
I've got some bad news.
The roots get into the septic system-
Releasing toxic ooze.
Shrubya Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 08:52 am
PST - Dec 7, 2000 - #222
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
To an Orange:
Your blossoms look sweet
On a wedding veil
But not so neat
Tied to Dubya's tail
Bummer shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 10:34 am
PST - Dec 7, 2000 - #223
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"Grace we approve,
And politesse.
Now move -- so we
Can spray the mess."
Gooper Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 07:13 pm
PST - Dec 7, 2000 - #224
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"Lawyers, avaunt!
The count we prize
Came from a machine
Not your lying eyes."
Techno shave
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 02:47 pm PST
- Dec 8, 2000 - #225
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Last time we followed a burning Bush
We were in the desert 40 years.
LOL!
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 08:11 pm
PST - Dec 8, 2000 - #226
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Joe Lieberman
Does not do pork.
Thanks anyway,
But -- keep the fork.
Shabbos shave.
(BOOKMARK)
Caitlin
Griswold - 08:13 pm
PST - Dec 8, 2000 - #227
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Down to the wire --
This race may trip 'er.
I say, let's win
This one for Tipper.
Flotus Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 08:34 pm
PST - Dec 8, 2000 - #228
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
More lawsuits? Paging
David Boies
Plus forty score of
Shabbos goys.
Deadline shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 02:35 pm
PST - Dec 9, 2000 - #229
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"Woodman, spare that Shrub!
Touch not a single Chad!
I plan to keep this job --
I owe it to his Dad."
Dub Ya Shave
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 03:14 pm PST
- Dec 14, 2000 - #230
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
Scalia decreed our doom, our fate,
And now begins the "transition."
Smirk and Cheney stand over us all
And order us to assume the position.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 03:50 pm PST
- Dec 14, 2000 - #231
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
In the name of all
That's sacred and holy
Please! No more
Of Candy Crowley.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 05:33 pm
PST - Dec 18, 2000 - #232
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
George wants to "dictate";
Guess he should
'Cuz his speling's
Not so good.
Bummer shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 07:00 am PST
- Dec 19, 2000 - #233
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
The Shrubster waxes
All warm and fuzzy.
Alas, he seems
A tad too scuzzy.
Burma Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
Erik
the Bloodaxe - 06:24
pm PST - Dec 19, 2000 - #234
of 247
George W. Bush: A President
in His Own Mind
I voted for Gore
Don't like the thief!
But it didn't matter
Supremes made him Chief!
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Caitlin
Griswold - 09:16 pm
PST - Dec 19, 2000 - #235
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
The Five Supremes
Are Shrubber's heroes;
He doesn't have
To count in zeroes.
Bummer Shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 07:25 am PST
- Dec 20, 2000 - #236
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
"Don't forget; hire the vet!"
The ad of yore did tell.
But the Army vet's out and AWOL is in
In a strange Republican hell.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 11:39 am
PST - Dec 24, 2000 - #237
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Down Florida way
The fog is clearin'
Over the White house
Re-appearin'
The 'Pubs yell "Freeze!"
The Dems get warm,
Could we foresee
The perfect Storm?
"Tommorrow is
another Day."
as they say in the Good'ol'
CSA. "
And a Happy Yuletide, y'all.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 07:36 pm
PST - Dec 24, 2000 - #238
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
We can't move fast enough
To fix 'em?" Cries
Christie Toad, "I say,
Deep six'em!"
Bury shave...
(BOOKMARK)
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Erik
the Bloodaxe - 06:10
pm PST - Dec 30, 2000 - #239
of 247
George W. Bush: A President
in His Own Mind
UnPresident Bush
He can't be trusted!
Through his evil smirk
The truth was busted!
Bummer Shave!
Caitlin
Griswold - 11:57 pm
PST - Dec 31, 2000 - #240
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
A Toast For the New Year:
We all may forgive..
Some sleepless nights
But not the theft
Of our voting rights.
Never surrender
Never never
Never never.
Never.
apologies to Winston Chuchill, wherever he may be...
(BOOKMARK)
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C.B.
Hagman - 09:32 am PST
- Jan 2, 2001 - #241
of 247
Actually, when you get right
down to it, Bob Jones University and John Ashcroft have shown greater hostility
to Catholicism than either James Hormel or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
have.
"President-elect Bush"
And "transition team"
Purrs every Republican shill.
But the votes still get counted,
And Al Gore is up
By only half a mil.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 07:11 pm
PST - Jan 12, 2001 - #242
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Note for budding poets! Check out the Slate "Compose a poem for the Inaugural" contest! <http://slate.msn.com/code/chatterbox/chatterbox.asp?Show=1/12/2001&idMessage=6863>
. It should capture the majestic, soaring promise of the new president and the coming four years. Any form of poetry is welcome--including haiku, limerick, sonnet, epic, and, the president-elect's own favorite, blank verseDeadline is Wednesday Jan 17.
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Erik
the Bloodaxe - 12:37
pm PST - Jan 15, 2001 - #243
of 247
George W. Bush: A President
in His Own Mind
After eight years as Prez
Bill Clinton now leaves us
He turns over the office
To a total ignoramus!
Bummer Shave!
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Caitlin
Griswold - 12:44 pm
PST - Jan 15, 2001 - #244
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
The drapes are all hung
By the office, with care;
Of legal incumbents
It's soon to be bare.
Spectre shave
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 06:10 am
PST - Jan 20, 2001 - #245
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Results
of Slate's inaugural poetry contest .
(BOOKMARK)
Caitlin
Griswold - 06:43 pm
PST - Jan 23, 2001 - #246
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
"They said, "Safe Harbor"--
Round the bend.
When will the protest
Ever end?"
Bummer shave.
(BOOKMARK)
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Caitlin
Griswold - 09:09 am
PST - Jan 30, 2001 - #247
of 247
Lost her job at the M &
M factory, supervisor caught her tossing out all the little "Dubyas"
Roses are red
Salon is wiggers
Just waiting to die
While it reconfigures.
we now return to our regularly scheduled ranting.
(BOOKMARK)
